Friday, July 31, 2009

If the Province Was a Nation It Would Rank in the World

[A map showing population density in the Canterbury Region at the 2006 census]

131st rank in the world for area, ahead of Denmark, the Netherlands, Switzerland and 100 other nations.
34th in the world for per capita income ahead of 146 nations including New Zealand.
128th rank in the world for GDP, ahead of the Republic of the Congo, Iceland, the Bahamas and sixty other nations.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

World First for Canterbury

Canterbury Secessionist Movement the first known [at least in this part of the world] secessionist group that is not serious about its intentions.


Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Canterbury's Foriegn Aid to Wellington...........

totalled $7.37 billion in the 2007/08 financial year, and is forecast to be $7.03 billion in the 2008/09 year and $6.7 billion in 2009/10.

Wellington

Wellington is the capital of New Zealand, famous for its cake tin stadium and its glorious 200km/h 2,000km/h winds. It contains one of the best train stations in New Zealand, and is the preferred location for playing chicken. It's a really, really, really cool city, it has its own mayor and an airport and lots of cafes and everything!

But, on the contrary, Wellington also sits on top of a highly active fault line. It is unknown who's idea it was to build the city where it is, but recent studies show that all citizens were actually neurologically vandalized, destroying any memory of the person responsible. The rest of the world waits to see whether Wellington or Auckland will be first to be demolished due to their completely idiotic locations. Will it be Wellington, easily swallowed one day by the fault line beneath it? Or will it be Auckland, the City of Cones, simply crushed by molten rock and ash erupting from surrounding "dormant" volcanoes?

-=Soccer=- Wellington Phoenix.

Currently Losing.

They are losing EVERY SINGLE MATCH.

Read more.....


Monday, July 27, 2009

From our Foriegn Affairs section

Indo-Pak Nuclear War Scenario

This is During the Cold War, that if USA launched a nuke-loaded missile, Soviet satellites would inform the Soviet army in 3 seconds and in less than 45 seconds Soviet counter-missiles would be on their way. Recent studies commissioned by US department of Defense included one on nuclear war between India and Pakistan.

This was their scenario.... ......... ....

The Paakistaan army decides to launch a nuke-missile towards India. They don't need any permission from their government, and promptly order the countdowns. 10, 9, 8, 6, 5, 3, 2, 0... (their commanders cannot count properly.)

Indian technology is highly advanced. In less than 8 seconds, Indian army detects the Pak countdown and decides to launch a missile in retribution.

But before the launch they need permission from the Government of India. They submit their request to the Indian President. The President forwards it to the Cabinet.

The Prime Minister calls an emergency Lok Sabhaa session. The Lok Sabhaa meets, but due to several walkouts and severe protests by the opposition, it gets adjourned indefinitely. The President asks for a quick decision.

In the meantime, the Paak missile failed to take off due to technical failure.
Their attempts for a re-launch are still on.

Just then the Indian ruling party is reduced to a minority because a party that was giving outside support withdraws it. The President asks the PM to prove his majority within a week. As the ruling party fails to win the confidence vote, a caretaker government is installed.

The caretaker PM decides to permit the armed forces to launch a nuclear missile. But the Election Commission says that a caretaker government can not take such a decision because elections are at hand. A Public Interest Litigation is filed in the Supreme Court alleging misuse of power by the Election Commission.

The Supreme Court comes to the rescue of the PM, and says the acting PM is authorized to take this decision in view of the emergency facing the nation.

Just then one of the Pak missiles successfully took off, but it fell 367 miles away from the target, on its own government building at 11.00AM. Fortunately there were no casualties as no employee had reached the office that early. In any case, the nuclear core of the missile had detached somewhere in flight. The Pakistan army is now trying to get better technologies from China and USA.

The Indian Government, taking no chances, decides to launch a nuclear missile of
its own, after convening an all-party meeting. This time all the parties agree.

It is three months since the army had sought permission. But as preparations begin, "pro-humanity", "anti-nuclear" activists come out against the Government's decision. Human chains are formed and "Raastaa Rokos" are organized. In California and Washington endless e-mails are sent to Indians condemning the government and mentioning - "Please forward it to as many Indians as possible".

On the Paakistaan side, the missiles kept malfunctioning. Some missiles deviate from target due to technical failures or high-speed wind blowing over Rajasthan. Many of them land in the Indian Ocean killing some fishes. A missile (smuggled from USA) is pressed into service. Since the Paakistaan army is unable to understand its software, it hits it
original destination: Russia.

Russians successfully intercepts the missile and in retaliation launches a nuclear missile towards Islaamaabaad. The missile hits the target and creates havoc. Paakistaan cries for help.

India expresses deep regrets for what has happened and sends in a million dollars worth of Parle-G biscuits to Paakistaan.

Thus India never gets to launch the missile.
Paakistaan never gets it right.
And we live happily ever after!!!!

Sunday, July 26, 2009


A design for the Canterbury republic flag

THIS LAND IS YOUR LAND

http://www.amazingspace.co.nz/content/images/578/400x400normal/_603__Aoraki_Balloons.JPG
THIS LAND IS YOUR LAND [with amendments]
words and music by Woody Guthrie

Chorus:
This land is your land, this land is my land
From Hamner Springs, to the Waitaki river
From the Southern Alps, to Akaroa
This land was made for you and me

As I was walking a ribbon of highway
I saw above me an endless skyway
I saw below me a golden valley
This land was made for you and me

Chorus

I've roamed and rambled and I've followed my footsteps
To the grass stumps of her tussock country
And all around me a voice was sounding
This land was made for you and me

Chorus

The sun comes shining as I was strolling
The wheat fields waving and the dust clouds rolling
The fog was lifting a voice come chanting
This land was made for you and me

Chorus

As I was walkin' - I saw a sign there
And that sign said - no tress passin'
But on the other side .... it didn't say nothin!
Now that side was made for you and me!

Chorus

In the square of the city - In the shadow of the steeple
Near Work and Income - I see my people
And some are grumblin' and some are wonderin'
If this land's still made for you and me.

Chorus (2x)