The global financial recovery

1776 and IBM

1776

(if they had computers back then)

* Mr. Jefferson: Gentlemen, the summer grows hot, and it is essential that we complete this declaration of independence.

* Mr. Franklin: Wait a minute, Thomas. I have to reboot here.

* Mr. Jefferson: That's all right, Ben. We'll go on without you. Has everyone had a chance to look at the draft I posted yesterday?

* Mr. Sherman: Not yet, Thomas, I've been having Notes replication problems.

* Mr. Adams: Here, Roger, I brought a hard copy

* Mr. Sherman: Thanks, Saaaaay, nice font.

* Mr. Adams: Do you like it? I downloaded it off Colonies Online just last week

* Mr. Jefferson: Gentlemen! There is work to be done. I fear our document will soon leak out.

* Mr. Livingston: Too late, Thomas. There's already a bootleg circulating. I saw it posted on alt.georgeIII.sucks last night.

* Mr. Franklin:******* General Protection Fault!

* Mr. Adams: Ben, you might try upgrading to Windows 75. It solved that problem for me.

* Mr. Sherman: Thomas, the part here about the Acts of Pretended Legislation; have you considered using bullets to air out the text?

* Mr. Jefferson: I can fix that easily enough. Drat! I've spilled candle wax on my keyboard again.

* Mr. Adams: You know, Thomas, that wouldn't happen if you'd buy an active-matrix screen.

* Mr. Franklin: Hard-disk failure?!? Aw, criminy

* Mr. Livingston: Are you sure it's "unalienable rights"? My spell checker recommends "unassailable".

* Mr. Jefferson: Can we stick to the substance of the document, please? Shoot. Low battery. Anyone got a spare power cable?

* Mr. Sherman: What have you got, a Toshiba? No, mine isn't compatible.

* Mr. Franklin: Hello, PCs Philadelphia? What does it mean when the floppy drive buzzes? OK, I'll hold.....

* Mr. Livingston: The "In Congress" part here at the top; have you thought about blowing that up really big and maybe centereing it in 72 point Helvetica?

* Mr. Jefferson: Not a bad idea. Aw, nuts! Word macro virus! I can't save the file.

* Mr. Franklin: That's all right, Thomas. We can manage. Here, borrow my quill pen....

COW CAPITALISM

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM


You have two cows. You sell one and buy
a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire
on the income. 

ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed
company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank,
then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that
you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The
milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman
Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells
the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on
one more. The public buys your bull.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the
milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of
an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever
cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them World-Wide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years,
eat once a month, and milk themselves.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows. Both are mad.

ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for
lunch.

RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again
and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle
of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for
storing them.

A HINDU CORPORATION
You have two cows. You worship them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full
employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who
reported the numbers.

AN ARKANSAS CORPORATION
You have two cows. That one on the left is kinda cute...

A SOUTH AFRICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.

A ZIMBABWEAN CORPORATION
A farmer has two Cows.
You take over his farm, eat both cows and wait for the
international community to supply more.

AN ISRAELI CORPORATION
So, there are these two Jewish cows, right?
They open a milk factory, an ice cream store,
and then sell the movie rights. They send their calves
to Harvard to become doctors. So, who needs people?

SECESSION.NET

Vancouver Island Ready To Break Off From Rest Of British Columbia

VICTORIA-- Just when you thought that federalism was gaining strength and momentum, restless Vancouver Island separatists are starting to rumble, making demands for greater autonomy and eventual independence from British Columbia, and the rest of Canada.

For those unfamiliar with the region, Vancouver Island is situated off the west coast of British Columbia. Vancouver Island's largest city is Victoria, which is also British Columbia's capital.

Vancouver Islanders have struggled to maintain their own distinct identity. Island culture and language is similar to that of the mainland, but about seven years behind in fashion and entertainment.

Read more.......

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